"We’re gonna die in a fucking gulag, but man, it’ll be worth it."
if i ever misgender you:
- it is not on purpose i promise
- im very sorry
- tell me your correct pronouns and ill use them
- spray me with cold water
"Luckily I have an ace up my sleeve!" I smirk and roll my sleeve up. A confused asexual rolls out, blinking in the sudden light.
Amazon ruined our cat’s birthday but look how they made it up to her :D
tHIS IS WHAT GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE LOOKS LIKE
When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit.
That’s because it was fun for baby boomers and they basically gave us this impression it would always be like that, but then they ruined the economy.
Imagine Jim needing to burp but he can’t and its pissing him off and Sebastian walks by him, not having any idea what the hell Jim is trying to do, and pats his back a lil and Jim belches so fucking loud.
They’re both shocked that they just freeze and don’t move for a minute and Sebastian finally laughs out,
‘Does the baby want his bottle?’
Then Jim punches him.
Writing headcanons (◡‿◡✿)
Seeing Headcanons (✿◠‿◠)
People tagging you in Headcanons (◕‿◕✿)
PEOPLE SENDING YOU HEADCANONS (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧